Today is a bad day! Today I started to get sick. Just a cold where I am starting to sound like a male smoker when I talk. Today I started a long week at work where we are down a doctor and I am working 4 days. Oh and just for fun we are having computer issues too! Today I have answered too many phone calls about vomiting and diarrhea. Today I FAILED at trying to run again. I was told get the shot. Take the weekend off and try again to run this week. I wasn't doing anything that I was not supposed to do. Problem is....I can't run. Someone is stabbing me in my hip. Stabbing! It is not going to work. I was so happy when the numbing medicine took away all my pain. I was fairly happy over the weekend when the pain was back but not as bad. I was still hopeful b/c I was told it would take 3-8 days for the steroid to work. Today the pain was a little worse but I blamed that on all the up and down at work. I am up and down from a chair a million times and then in the exam room I am always squatting down to see the kids sitting in their parents lap. Tonight I just wanted to run like 3miles. Just to remind my legs what running felt like. I went 0.23 miles before realizing I could not go any further. I do think my lateral hip pain is getting better. The stabbing pain is not however. I have given the steroids 3.5 days to take effect. It is not going to work.
I am sick over the fact that there is likely no way I am going to be able to do the Monumental or Disney marathons. Not only am I disappointed in the not running part but I am sick over the lost money. The Disney race/trip was really really expensive. If I am not running however, I don't want to go spend the weekend there surrounding myself by a bunch of other runners all doing what I want to do. I just can't do that. I am certain I will never be allowed to live this down if I waste all this money. I would try and work extra days maybe but still something I am sure I will hear about for years to come.
So if the steroid shot doesn't just cure me, I am going to be stuck going thru 6months of PT that won't work just to prove to my insurance that I gave "conservative" treatment an adequate try in order for them to pay for what is probably the only thing that has a chance of correcting my problem...SURGERY! Part of my last surgery was denied after 2 years of fighting insurance b/c I did not give it a full 6 months. Doesn't matter that my surgery fixed the problem and allowed me to go on with my life and that there is a lot of stuff out there suggesting it will not fix itself with just PT. Who wants to be in pain and not able to live a normal life for 6 months. Actually longer than that b/c if you wait that long then have surgery the recovery is a couple of months at least. This is all starting to sound like an eternity to me. Finally if you count out 6months from September when I first starting having problems that puts us in March. Well, my partner is having a baby and the rest of us are working more so how am I going to fit in surgery during that time?
This all just sucks!!! Right now I just feel so angry that it is tempting to rip the runner girl medal hanger right off the wall. I can't stand looking at the race medals right now. I hate this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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